Pam and Teri, Drunk and Scary

The Last House on the Left (1972)

When your friend wants to buy pot from a stranger on the street, punch her in the face. We're streaming this on Amazon. Grab your chastity belts and your mom.

Chopping Mall (1986)

If you work at the mall, maybe don't have an orgy in the furniture store. We're streaming this on Amazon. Grab your propane tanks and water, and be on the lookout for evil robots. Thank you. Have a nice day.

Pet Sematary (1989)

Don't listen to the creepy old man across the road. Invest in a fence. Don't go rock climbing to bury a loved one. We're streaming this on Amazon. Grab a shovel, cross your fingers, and hope it works this time.

The Ring (2002)

If you hear a rumor about a shitty movie, don't watch it. Especially if they say it's a student film. We're streaming this on Netflix. So grab your VCRs, a blank VHS tape, and a glass of water from the well.

Valentine (2001)

Be nice to the nerds because they're not always an Angel in disguise. Karma's a bitch. We're streaming this on Amazon. Grab your Valentine and a box of chocolates. Happy Valentine's day!

The Wolfman (2010)

Don't walk through the woods at night if you don't want to come across something scary...you know, like a werewolf. We're streaming this on Amazon. Grab your drinks and silver bullets.

Child's Play (1988)

1. Don't buy birthday gifts from bums in an alley. 2. Always check the batteries. 3. If it's below the knee, kick with everything you've fucking got. We're streaming this on Netflix. So grab your drinks and aim for the heart. Wanna play?

Rosemary's baby (1968)

Watch out for crazy old nosy couples. Behind the wrinkles are devil worshiping assholes who are after just one thing. We're streaming this on Netflix. Grab your condoms and tannis root shots.

The Blair Witch Project (1999)

If you have a school project that requires you to go into the woods, just take the F. We're streaming this on Amazon. Grab your drinks, GPS, and cell phone.

Fright Night (1985)

What do you do when a vampire moves into your neighborhood and onto your girl? You invite him over for a stake dinner! STAB! We're streaming this on Amazon. Grab your crosses and a shot of holy water.